My mother has been friends with Arnie for the last 18 years. Twelve years ago he was diagnosed with Parkinson’s. His health declined over the years to the point that he grew frail, could no longer walk, and most people could not understand his speech.

Last Sunday, my mother and sister went to visit Arnie in an assisted living facility where he resides. They found him on the floor. He suffered a major heart attack and was rushed to the hospital.

There he lives.

He has lines of life support, nutrition and monitors. He only has 15% of heart function, is in the beginnings of congestive heart failure and can no longer swallow so the doctors want to insert a tube in his stomach. He has declined. He is not talking but he is of sound mind. He is giving up.

He has no money, no savings, and no insurance. Just social security and a small monthly pension from years of being a science teacher in the Philadelphia school system.

Hospice is willing to take him and make him as comfortable as possible until he passes. The one requirement they have is funeral arrangements must be in order and paid so that hospice has instructions upon his death and has no financial liability.

The power of attorney/executor of his affairs is his daughter. She lives in California. He is in New Jersey. She arrived yesterday. She has no money either, is maxed out on her credit cards and is leaving NJ in three days, never to see her father again.

Arnie does not have a will. He has no assets so he did not think a will was necessary. He lived in the moment and spent every cent he ever made. He enjoyed the opera, fine dinners and travel.

My mother, his friend, is a wreck. I have 3 sisters who are all nurses who feel he probably won’t make it more than another week. If he has no money and his daughter is not willing to put the money up or get a loan for a funeral, hospice won’t take him.

In that case, he will die in the hospital. His remains will go to the state of NJ for disposal.

What are the lessons to learn here?

1. You have probably read this a thousand times, but please have a will and spell out how you want to be buried. Who gets what, etc?

2. Either have an insurance policy or savings to pay for funeral expenses.

3. Make sure your power of attorney/executor knows where everything is and is prepared to follow through with your instructions.

Don’t let this happen to you or your loved ones.

In the end, Arnie will not die a pauper; our family will make sure of it.

This entry was posted on Friday, August 31st, 2007 at 4:34 am and is filed under General Interests. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.