Have you ever read the book the 7 habits of Highly Successful People by Stephen Covey? Deemed an outstanding book at the time, the one line that has always stayed by me is, “Seek first to understand, then to be understood.”

This quote has never been more timely. We as women are great listeners, we express empathy, and we are organized and disciplined as a whole.

Lately, I have received emails from women who listen to my radio show or respond to an article or blog I wrote who are looking for ways to be understood when they communicate their wants and needs. It appears many of us, me included, have a way of saying something that at times can be misinterpreted. How we seek understanding in our day communications with others is directly related to our happiness in our lives.

There are dozens if not hundreds of books on the market on how to communicate, books on men and women and how we think; there is even a new book out by Miss Piggy called The Diva Code listing her tips for getting what you want, Miss Piggy style. Very cute book if you need light reading. But, I keep coming back to the line, “Seek first to understand, then to be understood.” It has become a mantra I repeat to myself when I am in especially tough situations where I feel I need to be heard clearly with no misunderstanding.

Yes ,I am a business owner, yes I have to set rules, yes I have to act like a scout troop leader, or as some who know me say, I am always herding cats. Most importantly, I am a woman, wife, mother and grandmother. How I communicate my needs to everyone important to me and how they respond with understanding makes all the difference between having a happy, productive, contented life or being sucked up in negativity, stressed that people don’t understand you and you become discouraged and unhappy.

So the next time you are in a situation where you need to be understood, step back, take a deep breath, try to look at the communication as an observer and seek first to understand the dynamics of what is happening before you jump the gun to say something that turns into a debate, or worse. We all deserve to be understood. Try this next time with your 3 year old. It is hard to reason with a 3 year old at times, but if you get more cooperation, you know you are heading in the right direction!

This entry was posted on Wednesday, February 25th, 2009 at 6:38 am and is filed under Women Only. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.